A heads up!

I'm the planning kind and nothing ever on earth is going to stop me from enjoying every little moment of this wonderful ride towards a "forever us" Not even you baby. So while you sit and dream that everything's going to fall into place just like that. I'm all ready--and here I begin with folders-multicolored for inspiration and the book that will hold all important and not so important scribblings and notes and lists and all of that stuff...pens of all colors-for easy identification of what will be written, stick ons, post-it prompts, etc. So right now, my favorite shopping hang out is the stationary stores. Don't tell me "am wasting time" because that is the root cause of all wars and unfortunate incidences. Rather, have fun with me on this and in the mean time wish yourself some luck!

29th November!

Another year, another birthday away from each other. I know they aren't a big deal for you but it is for me. Because you were born this day for me :) how could I possibly not take that seriously? You are my star, my hero, my everything! Sunday morning, as you wake up with the chill Lufkin wind and coffee downstairs, remember, I'll be missing you and would have said a prayer for you. I hope the basket of flowers I ordered for you will come your way soon. I'm waiting for you. just you alone. So damn the pretty dresses.

Happy Birthday love.

The night he knelled.....

It was 14th October, early morning—with the sun light gleaming through the thin curtains he came with a bunch of red roses. With half opened eyes, I hugged him and smelled the roses which, as always was divine. Waking me up with roses early morning wasn’t a regular affair so I asked what the special occasion was. He said, “You are special and you are the occasion” not really. I just made that up. He cannot come up with corny lines. Good for me! Neither romantic lines...until that night.

He left after a simple breakfast and I went about with the usual chores. Around evening he called and asked me if he could take me out for dinner and also mentioned what he wanted me to wear. Ok now, by this time. I knew what was coming up.

It was this blue dress from Banana Republic that made me look the prettiest which was a gift from him. I was showered with flowers again, yellow lilies this time round. He hugged me, held my held and walked down the steps towards the car. On the way we listened to “Summer wine” by The corrs...he sang along and made those croaking sound. And I tell myself “he really is the one!”

We arrived at the much loved hotel and were led to the Mexican restaurant by the pool and the lawn. I looked around and noticed that our table and the chairs were different from all the others. The staff even hung some ribbons on our umbrella shed. That was indeed very sweet of them. Oh! the champagne bottle in a bucket, more lilies again (pink this time) the candle, the table impeccably laid out—the music...the stars and the moon and HIM...everything was so perfect. I did the honours of opening the champagne bottle and as food started coming in I realised, they were pre-ordered! I found out that he had come during the day to ensure they served my favourite food! I was elated and nervous at the thought of what was coming up. I wondered would it be now? Maybe after dinner or just maybe under the sky...on the lawn as we walked...he would kiss me and asked me. Kneeling down was something I never visualised coz he said he wouldn’t. ..anyways, the night progressed, I waited. It never happened.

By the 3rd hour we decided to leave. And I was like “I even wore the proposal dress what if it doesn’t happen tonight” just then he said, “let’s go to my place and I’ll propose you on the couch”. A few things went through my head: ~Seriously, that couch? Ok you bought it because I liked it but it doesn’t mean the big moment should happen there?? We were just under the stars and the moon and there was Mexican music! ~That’s his TV couch after all I thought-I think I was a lil pissed but of course I didn’t say anything but like a nice girl (as he often wishes) Of course I didn’t say anything but like a nice girl went along with his idea.

But as we reached the front door, he asked me to close my eyes, then I knew...it wasn’t just the orange couch! I opened my eyes and Lo and behold! The entire room was lighted with candles just like when Chandler proposes Monica in FRIENDS!! Of course, he knew my favorite proposal scene. Oh. My. God. He just knelled. HE DID. And he saying something...yes I heard it right “will you be my wife?” I exclaimed “Absolutely!” and that’s when I saw the most beautiful ring ever! On my finger.

He dropped me home and as I opened the door. OH. MY. GOD. OH. MY.GOD!! !!Could this be happening?? Is it real?? My Family, my entire family...all nine of them were there!! Oh God what did I do to deserve this? They flew all the way from Nagaland for this? They took off from work...all of them to be there for my special day!! My guy, my fiancé made sure, the people that I love the most were all there on my special day. I couldn’t have asked for more!

That’s my guy. The wonderful, most awesome man I ever know. The one I wanted to find all my life. The one I love, most truly and ever will. The one I said "yes" to-to be with for for the rest of my life.

the vacations I remember...

My grandmother is close to 90 now. Until a few months ago, she was the one visiting all her daughters (my aunts and mom) residing in different towns. I was talking to mom last night over the phone and she told me that grandma cannot travel anymore—it means that it’s a chance for all of us to return the affection and care she has been bestowing all her life. It also means that the little ones at home will not get the goodies from the farm and granary.

There were a few summer vacations when we were sent to spend in the village unaccompanied by our parents. As we packed our stuff two weeks before the date of departure, my grandma would also start storing her wooden boxes with our favourite fruits and nuts. She would go gooseberry picking and would have sweetened snack made out of them by the time we got to the village. She would have decided on the chicken to be cooked for dinner. The spare room cleaned and sun dried in case we refused to sleep with grandpa and her. The best rice would be husked , all the pots and pans would be filled with water just so that we don’t insist on going water fetching. Firewood aplenty to keep the kitchen warm. Grandpa would have started making baskets with cane to send mom some.

It was our time of unending adventure—no vacation would end without a walk( an hour) to the paddy field—fetching water on bamboo pots( despite resistance) picnicking on the farm cottages, feasting on wild berries and village shops. It was also a time when we were admired and cheered for the little fact that we were people from the town. Between my paternal grandparents and my maternal’s is a 500 meter yard stretch of walk way and on both sides are houses. As we walked up and down, we would be cheered by the village boys. Those walk ways felt like ramps and us like models.

She would tell us stories about my parents, mostly about my dad and how he befriended my grandparents before he even asked my mom on a date. The folktales I listened in wonder—magical stories which I thought were true—recounts of Army torture, starvation, grouping—their survival stories in the jungles. Many many more.

My grandma made sure she was by the bedside when her 18 grandchildren were born.

She never went to school but she learned to read the bible and sing hymns. She sang songs in the church with her group until a few years ago coz she started singing off tune.

The last time I met my grandma was 2 years ago, I speak to her occasionally but she doesn’t enjoy phone talks so there is hardly any bonding time. ..I don’t know how long she’ll live but I don’t know when I can see her. For now, I’ll have to get by with the memories. But I hope and pray that I’ll get a chance to thank her for making me feel like her favourite grandchild (all 18 of us do) and for making my vacations memorable Coz the only vacations I remember are the ones I spent with her.

Today, I just long to talk to friends I haven't been in touch with. Friends I've loved, laughed and cried--but they seem so far away now that I wonder if they'd feel the same way as they used to feel. There were a few of them that I had threated losing--I wanted to keep them for life..you know, just a call away--but my phone was too busy for them and they are gone now. I miss them and I wish i had tried harder to keep them near.

I've been thinking a lot about how much I should share on this blog--will it be ok to tell things that are personal and close to my heart? I remember, when I started out it was more an experiment with blogosphere--I made up stories, learned to haiku, played along meme's quizes and so on. But now that I know what the fuss is about --(blogger turned 10 this year btw) albeit a little late, what's next? How far is too far? I'm not sure. Perhaps I'd just go back to making up stories...if nothing else, to maintian the continuity.

Panda, you'll continue to be my favourite character.

Panda has been waiting for a very long time to read something that would make him fall in love with me all over again--like the way it did the first time. And since I think I'm going to need time to get on the track, the 'falling in love all over again' has to wait. When I came back to the blog a couple of days back, it took me sometime to make the connection with it. Sadly. So much has happened over the past few months that I won't know where to start from...even if I wanted to. No panda, it isn't an excuse--I shall write surely. That being my first vow.

It's been so long since I wrote anything! My fingers are so numbed --I almost want to cry. The thing called 'writers' block doesn't justify my silence. I feel like I've cheated my friends who came back to this blog day after day faithfully only to see the remnants of the decayed words.

I want to write. Not just here but a lot more. I want to tell the stories that only I can tell. I want to feel the joy--the kind that only writing can give.

Happy 2009!

I’ve always considered myself blessed—life has been good to me in many ways...with expected turns, though always for the better. 2008 passes by quietly...making me a better person in the process. The last month was special with promises  to not turn myself into a person am not; to make not-fighting a habit with my loved one; to be understanding and happy. I must say I’ve been successful in a big way.

2009 is here...and I know this is going to be one of the most eventful years of my life. I’m excited about the new ventures...I just have to ensure that I do them.

Wasn't planning to come up with a resolution list this year. But I just couldn't resist. This year i resolve to do the following diligently:

1. Take calls or call back when I don’t.
   
2. Reply to emails as soon as I get them
   
3. Meet my professor once a week
   
4. Visit the library at least once a week
   
5. Do not buy unnecessary things just because it’s a sale.
   
6. Be more matured in my dealings with people
   
7. Write an article every day!
   
8. Over come my urge to fight
   
9. Make being happy a habit.
   
10. Cut down my phone bill.
    
11. Join a dancing class
    
12. Learn to speak Telugu
    
13. Visit a new country