a winter sunset

This picture was taken from the balcony of the Changki village church (Nagaland) guest house this January. When you live in a city and work from 9-9 without a glimpse of the sunrise or the sunset, seeing something like that feels heavenly. Back home, where my parents and my ancestors reside, where there is very little pollution...every sunset is poetry in motion. I was dressed in trench coat, boots, gloves, muffler looking warm and pretty making the experience even more delightful! I do love winter.

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This is the city I love.
The place I yearn for --even when I’m home with folks
This is the city I cried for, when 3 years back I left for good
This is the city I came back to—to restart my life, looking for a new home...
But could I ever possibly call it home?
When every time I walk on the streets
They remind me that I’m different
That I’m a misfit
That I’m an outsider
How would I call it home when I’m paranoid to walk on the streets?
Because I’m going to receive those lecherous stares
Be whistled at by teenagers
Be mobbed by bikers
Because I’m going to be offered a free ride
Because when I walk, there’ll be those ‘sick in the head’
But how long will this go on?
When will they ever accept me?
When will they ever let me be?
When can I call finally call it “my home”?

Vizag trip---Araku valley

On our way to the valley, we stopped by a small open air restaurant for breakfast and relished the south Indian special breakfast--aka Idli, Dosa, upma, sambhar and coconut chutney. Just outside the restaurant, we also spotted a swing tied to a big tree... we obviously swung like lil children... after all, it's was our vacation and we could do everything we wanted to.

Though it was technically a valley that we went to, there wasn't much valley to see around, we were disappointed especially Sweets who prefers hills and mountains than beaches.
But we did find a group of people, the residents of Araku valley--in full fiesta out for their daily bazaar. Most women were seen sporting the triple nose rings--look closely and you'll see what I mean.

pumpkins! yummy!The colorful sarees on display!and some red chillies too-- here the bag is kept open and the chillies are made to flow down into a mould after which they sort them into small portions. very organized and looks hot!

Vizag trip--Rashikonda beach

I’ve talked about the Vizag trip I took in the last week of March this year but have never actually written anything about it. It so happens me that, when something is so beautiful and close to the heart, be it a feeling, or an experience… I avoid writing about them. Somehow, I’m apprehensive of not doing justice to it… I feel my words wouldn’t be adequate enough to express the experience. As a result, I’ve let go of so many things “unspoken” and gradually forgotten. I can’t let that happen to my most wonderful trip ever and therefore I’m attempting to recapture the moments…at least visually. Be warned, it might not seem as exhilarating as it was.














After Hyderabad's mad traffic and pollution, the Vizag roads we traveled soothed our souls!
and just as you stop by for a shell of coconut water, you hear the waves...and feel the breeze...yes right below the road, is the beach you see here:


I want a cottage on the hill up there and wake up each morning to the calmness of the sea.

retrieving

It’s already the 6^th month of the year—I’ve already lived almost half of this year! Unbelievable, the way time flies…with each year time passes even faster. Although I’m not sure if am happy at how things have turned out to be—nothing disastrous but nothing overwhelming either…I’d like to live a life where am stretched and challenged a lil beyond what I can handle…I think something like that would be extremely fulfilling.

A recap…

I woke up on the morning of 1^st Jan to the whistles of the pressure cooker…my mom was cooking in the kitchen. For the first time in 6 years, our family got to spend Christmas together at my sister’s place—but by new year we got home…New Year’s eve was extremely memorable. Dad made a bonfire—and we sat circled around it, watching Justine and Wapang dance to the loud music played in the background. At the stroke of midnight dad fired a couple of gunshots as a sign of saying goodbye to the old year and welcoming the New Year. It felt like I was taken backwards…bonfires, music, gunshots had been a tradition in the family which dad religiously observed with or without us kids at home.

I landed back in Hyderabad on the 8^th of Jan. Mo had come to pick me up looking all ‘worked out’. Apparently he was living on orange juice and a strict work out regime with the dutiful and persistent trainer. I was treated to a plate of Hyderabadi biryani—I missed it as much as I missed him.

Celebrated Valentines Day 14^th February with home cooked food and lots of chocolates and roses.

N and I had been working on a book late 2007 but I was a difficult person to work with until I went home for a break. N says it’s because of my nephew. I couldn’t agree less. Babies are amazing! They can completely change your life. We restarted working on the book from mid Jan till the first week of April. It was taxing working for 12 hours at a stretched most days.

Last week of March, I went on a vacation to Vizag with my three heroes. And I had the most wonderful time ever! The beach never looked so lovely, coconut water never felt so refreshing. Lying on the sand was a therapy in itself. When ever I think of it...my palms tinkle and feel the excitement all over again.

Most of May, I wasn’t myself or rather too much of myself. Mood swings and numerous telephonic fights with dad over the marriage thingy. He thinks 27 is the perfect age to be betrothed into matrimony just so that I can have babies by 30 and later. My cousin Apok arrived on the 8^th of May to live with me…definitely for another 3 years. Happy and blessed to have a family with me. It is a joy.

I shamelessly took two weeks off in late May to prepare for my Ph.D entrance exam...wrote the exams on the 3rd and 6th of June. I hope to make it--it's been a long break now and I desperately want to get back to academics.

School reopened on the 12^th June and I’m back to teaching 80 girls 45 minutes every day. I cannot wait for the day when I will announce the deployment of Virtual Classroom technology. It’s been a year now in development and I’m becoming impatient. I hope as I write about the 6 remaining months, I will start with that announcement.

Sigh, I wish life was more nerve racking and adventurous!

things I’m happy about...

1. Getting back to blogging—however minimal it might be.
   
2. The weather—the breeze, wind and the rain
   
3. My cousin getting admitted to college and enrolling for a subject combo she wanted.
   
4. It’s the 16^th of the month and I haven’t used my credit card even once!
   
5. My sister is doing great—even walking around the lawn, she will hopefully be discharged by the 20^th.
   
6. The girls were very attentive in class today.
   
7. Things are happening in office—everybody seems to be working and enthusiastically.
   
8. The bags I had ordered online arrived safe and beautiful! I’ve started using since yesterday.
   
9. Haven't fought with Mo for one whole week!
   

realization

It’s surprising how I missed wishing both my mom and dad on their respective mother’s and father’s days. It wasn’t intentional of course, but the fact is that I didn’t manage to wish them. Even when I knew that if I didn't talk to them in the morning hours before they went to church, it’d be impossible to catch them, I still woke up oh-so-leisurely at 11am. And in the afternoon when they were home, I went to church and outing with friends and all and by the time I got home, they were fast asleep or so I assumed.

I was wrong-- my brother called up to tell that dad waited for my call till 10pm and went off to sleep tad disappointed. This is also the first time in 10 years I missed sending them their much deserved gifts. I’m not sure what has gotten into me, but it’s something I mustn't take it lightly. Being away from home for 10 years and meeting them only once a year and not even that sometimes, can take a toll on the relationship. After all, relationship is something you work on, be it parents.

baby boy!

It's a baby boy! after grueling for almost 24 hours, she decided to go for C-section and after half an hour in the OT, Voila! another addition to the family--a beautiful baby boy. Mom says he looks like bro-in-law, sis thinks he resembles Justin our kid bro. I wasn't worried about who he resembled. But the first thing I wanted to know was if the lil dude had our family's beautifully and strategically pointy nose unlike my bro-in -law's broad, big nostrils and all. And thankfully nose-wise he is on our side. We now have to battle for the name! the paternal grandfather has chosen a rather boring name for the lil dude... I hope they will not make a final call on that.

At the end of the day, even after all the tension and excitement, I don't get to see the baby. I don't get to hold my darling sister's lil bundle of joy. My nephew. Not now and probably not for another few months. Sad. But then, it'll be worth the wait.

longing

My sister is in labor now…as much as I look forward to my lil niece or nephew… I’m anxious and worried. She got admitted to the hospital last night and ever since then I’ve been impatient. It’s not so much about she being in labor but it’s about not being with there when she needs me the most

At times such as this, it makes me wonder if there is any point in staying so far away from home, from loved ones. If only I was there…I could have rubbed away the sweat from her forehead and held her through this moment. I could have even watched her smile as she held her baby for the first time.